Making Peace with the Season You’re In

As I sat down to write this blog, it became clear that I’ve really been going through it this past year. That realization pulled me back to my story — the story of a female athlete and coach navigating change, setbacks, and growth.

Recently, my business coach reminded me how powerful it can be to revisit old writing. So I reread past blogs and noticed something interesting: the last time I wrote about my story was also in February. February of last year.

There’s something about late winter that invites reflection. It’s the in-between season. Not the excitement of January. Not the bloom of spring. Just stillness. A space to look at how things went, how we hoped they would go, and how we understand them now.

This year, that reflection hasn’t been easy.

The past year brought multiple injuries — mostly back-related — along with a frozen shoulder that showed up uninvited. From a fitness standpoint, it felt like I wasn’t moving forward at all. In many ways, it felt like I had taken steps backward.

Before my first back injury, I had numbers in my head:
A 200-pound deadlift.
A 185-pound back squat.
A 125-pound clean & jerk.
Another podium finish at Duathlon Nationals.

I could see it. I could feel it.

And then… none of it happened.

Not one goal.

Was I mad? Absolutely.
Did I feel betrayed by my body? Yes.
Am I still working on letting that go? Every day.

What no one prepares you for is the quiet grief when your body doesn’t respond the way it used to. The grief of slower recovery. Of heavier weights. Of realizing you can’t outwork everything anymore.

And for women, this isn’t just aging — it’s physiology.

Perimenopause can feel like your body rewrote the rulebook without telling you. Hormones shift. Recovery changes. Sleep changes. Stress tolerance changes. And instead of acknowledging that, most of us just push harder. We assume we’re not disciplined enough.

I did.

I trained through pain. I compared myself to a version of me that no longer exists. I felt like I was falling behind — behind my goals, behind my expectations, behind who I thought I should be by now.

But here’s the part that makes this story bigger than injury.

When I couldn’t train the way I wanted to, I poured myself into my business and my relationships. I built. I connected. I grew. In many ways, I reached a level professionally that I’ve been chasing for nearly ten years.

So no — I wasn’t moving backward.

I was just growing in a different direction.

This winter forced me to slow down. And in that stillness, I had to face something uncomfortable: I wasn’t actually doing what I needed to recover. I was operating from pride. From ego. From “I’ve been doing this long enough to figure it out.”

I assumed I knew what was wrong instead of asking, “What’s happening in this season of my body?”

So I finally did. I got evaluated for what’s real right now — not what was true twenty years ago.

Letting go of my old expectations — and the expectations I thought others had of me — felt like peeling off layers of pressure I didn’t even realize I was carrying.

I’m not magically healed. I’m still working through back issues. But now I’m addressing what’s actually in front of me instead of fighting ghosts.

And maybe that’s the lesson.

To the women navigating perimenopause, slower recovery, frustration, or unexpected setbacks: you are not broken. You are not done. You are in transition.

Sometimes the way forward isn’t more discipline.

Sometimes it’s support.
Sometimes it’s reflection.
Sometimes it’s admitting you don’t have it all figured out.

Sometimes strength is allowing yourself to begin again — from exactly where you are.

If you’re in a season where your body feels unfamiliar, where recovery looks different, or where you’re questioning what’s next — you don’t have to navigate it alone. This is the work I care deeply about.

Maybe that’s why February keeps calling me back to my story. It’s the quiet season that asks for honesty. Two years in a row, this month has asked me to pause, to look clearly at where I am, and to release who I thought I was supposed to be.

Maybe February isn’t about evaluating progress at all.

Maybe it’s about making peace with the season you’re in — and trusting that growth is still happening, even when it looks different than you planned.

Hot Flashes and Hot Miles: Heat Acclimation for the Endurance Athlete Over 40

 Two short summers ago, I discovered that my body had apparently decided it was a portable furnace. Bedtime became a nightly inferno. I’d overheat so badly I had to change clothes multiple times a night and sleep on ice packs like some sweaty, menopausal snow leopard.

But it didn’t stop there. My waking hours joined the heat wave party. Midday “heat storms” left me drenched, drained, and sometimes skipping training altogether—not because I was lazy, but because I felt like my core temp was sponsored by a dying star.  At one point, even my scent changed. Yes, ladies, it can happen: when estrogen levels plummet and testosterone doesn’t follow suit, you may find yourself with the aroma of a gym sock in a hockey bag.

One day, after pushing through a CrossFit workout, I came home… ripe. My 14-year-old cat, normally a loyal shadow, sniffed me, gave me the “what-fresh-hell-is-this” face—ears back, lip curled—and didn’t want her normal cuddles. That was my wake-up call. It was time for change.

---

🔥 The Heat Is On: Why Acclimating Matters

So what’s happening to our bodies after 40—and why is the heat so pronounced?

• Aging slows our cooling system: We sweat less efficiently, and our bodies don’t regulate internal temp as fast as it used to.
  
  

• Estrogen is peace-ing out: Hormonal decline means reduced blood flow to the skin, impairing our ability to shed heat.
  
  

• Hot flashes and heat training don’t mix well: Surprise sweat attacks mess with consistency and motivation.
  
  

• Dehydration risk rises: The thirst signal weakens, and fluid absorption slows—this can tank performance and recovery.
  
  

• Recovery time increases: The older we get, the more our bodies need smart recovery—add heat, and it’s going to take longer.
  
  

---

🧠 Smart Strategies for Training in Heat, with Changing Hormones

Here’s how to train with the heat instead of fighting it like a gladiator in a sauna.

1. Start Small and Progress Slowly

• Begin with either shorter bouts or lower intensity workouts during the adaptation phase when training in the heat of the day.
  
  

• Build up slowly over 14 days or more—your body needs time to adapt.
  
  

2. Hydrate Like It’s Your Job

• Aim to drink before you're thirsty. Carry a bottle around with you
  
  

• Use electrolytes. An example of a workout up to 90 minutes: Start with a sodium solution of 250 mg combined with 4 grams of carbohydrate plus potassium, magnesium and calcium. This will help shuttle water through the intestines into the vessels better than over the counter drinks mixes that have a higher carb solution,  above 3.5% is considered high. The above example can be as simple as 1/16th tsp of salt with 1 tsp of maple syrup in 16 ounces of water. 

• Pro tip: Most sports drinks are too concentrated with sugar to allow the water to be absorbed. Make sure if you like to drink your calories, you ALSO have a bottle with just electrolytes. 

• Post-menopausal women may need to monitor sodium loss more closely, especially if you’re a salty sweater. Meaning you may need more salt than this suggestion. To find out what you need you can take a sweat test.
  
  
  

3. Pre-Cool Before You Boil

• Use ice towels, frozen water bottles down your sports bra, or a chilly drink before workouts.
  
  

• Wear loose, light-colored gear. Tight black leggings at noon? Bold choice. Regretful one possibly. Having the ability for air to flow will allow cooling to happen better.
  
  

• Pro hack: Toss your bandana or handheld water bottle in the freezer before you head out.
  
  

4. Time It Right

• In the beginning, Train early or late—before the sun reaches “surface of Mercury” levels.
  
  

• Save the heat training for your zone 2 and 3 levels of output. You’re trying to build resilience right now.
  
  
  

5. Know Your Limits, And Your Laundry Threshold

• If your heart rate is unusually high for extended periods of time, or you feel lightheaded, cut it short.
  
  

• Be mindful of warning signs: chills, goosebumps, nausea, dizziness, the feeling you’re on a tilt-a-whirl while out at sea.

• Beta-alanine can be used by women in the menopause transition who suffer hot flashes. A dose of beta-alanine, which helps open your blood vessels, before you head out can help ward them off and help your body shuttle blood where it needs to go to keep you cool. The typical recommended dose is 4 to 6 grams. Some people get pins and needles sensations at the higher end of that recommended dose. So start low.

• Don't forget sunscreen - sunburn reduces your skin's ability to cool you.

---

💪 Final Words for Keeping Your Sanity while your body and the environment is on fire

So yes, it’s hot. You’re hot. Your cat is concerned. But here’s the thing: you’re not broken—you just have to be more aware and focussed on your adaptation period—especially when your body is behaving like it’s throwing its own climate protest.

Acclimating to heat in your 40s and beyond isn’t just about training harder; it’s about training smarter. It's about honoring your hormones, acknowledging your changing  physiology, and using all the tools at your disposal.

Whether you’re building up for a summer race, chasing PRs, or just trying to stay consistent through another menopausal monsoon, remember: your body isn’t fighting you. It’s talking to you. And now, you know how to listen.

So hydrate, layer smart, pack that ice bandana, and keep showing up. Because while hot flashes might come and go, I want your ability to train and enjoy fitness to stay.

Over 40 and Feeling Sore? How to Make Exercise Hurt Less

I work with women of all ages, but in my over 40 crowd (myself included), I see an increase in post exercise soreness. This happens even when they’re lifting/training properly and under my supervision, yet they end up feeling sore for days afterward. This excess soreness (more than before they hit their 40’s, and for much less work), causes them to never be able to find a routine, because they’re always finding themselves taking too long of a recovery which puts them back at square one.

This doesn’t just happen to my new-to-lifting ladies. It happens to my longtime exercisers who hit or are near the peri/post menopause point in life, and it’s happening to me too. I find myself the day after a hard workout with more delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS)—the stiff, achy muscle pain that makes it hard to walk down stairs or even sit down to pee—after training than I ever had before. The stiffness is amplified when I have a rest day and do nothing on my rest day instead of gentle mobility exercises. 

Once women reach the menopause transition (which generally happens in the mid 40’s, but can happen anytime from the late 30s onward), they can struggle to recover as quickly from workouts because their bodies have a harder time repairing exercise damage with fluctuating hormones due to perimenopause, and less to no estrogen due to postmenopause.

Because both estrogen and progesterone have anti-inflammatory properties, it’s also common for women to experience more musculoskeletal pain in general during this time. I found out through following the Feisty Menopause group that there is even a name for it: the musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause. The good news is you can do something about it. 

Top 3 Things You Can Do to Hurt Less

Warm Up/Cool Down

Let me start with a few things most of us skipped when we were younger; getting proper warm ups, cool downs, and taking rest/recovery days. A rest day now isn’t going to cut it by sitting on the couch and doing nothing now. You are going to have to move, gently, carefully, with focus, attention to detail and be cautious of your intensity. I use my recovery day as a day to really dial in my mobility practice. Feel into what needs attention and work on it. If you are unsure where to start, I practice Functional Range Conditioning principles, FRC for short. This teaches you how to move your joints in a systematic way to not only improve joint function, but also decrease overall aches and pains, AND improve strength. See one of my videos here.

Prioritize your sleep 

This is when your body does its best recovery. During sleep your body releases growth hormones that stimulate muscle repair and growth and help to regenerate cells. Getting the proper amount of sleep has many more benefits like, helps improve immune system function, stress reduction, memory consolidation, energy conservation and storage, hormone regulation, and improved mood and cognitive function. 

FUEL

And, last but certainly not least, fuel yourself before and after exercise, so your body has the building blocks it needs to restock your energy stores and repair your muscles. Fueling and protein, you’re probably tired of hearing about protein. But, the hard truth is that we need more of this macronutrient along with BCAA’s (especially Leucine) and Creatine (helps to counteract the menopause-related decline in muscle, bone, and strength by reducing inflammation, oxidative stress, and serum markers of bone resorption to stimulate muscle protein synthesis). Research papers on protein and DOMS are lacking for midlife women. However, the big takeaway is that post exercise protein is really working for so many women. To make the most of it, you’ll need to aim for 30 grams of protein at each meal and eat protein rich snacks after hard workouts. So, why not give it a try.

Other Things To Keep In Mind

Eating an anti-inflammatory diet, rich in anti-inflammatory foods such as fruits and vegetables and omega-3 rich foods has been shown to help reduce exercise induced muscle damage and perceived soreness. Stay hydrated. There’s some evidence that dehydration can worsen DOMS, so stay on top of your fluid intake. According to the Mayo Clinic, the recommended daily amount for women is 2.7 liters or 11.5 cups a day, and more when you’re active.

Creatine: The generally recommended dose of 3 to 5 grams a day of creatine monohydrate to help reduce the post-exercise inflammatory response and reduce muscle damage and soreness in the days following hard exercise. 

Cold Plunge/Therapy is on many people's minds. You hear about them popping up in your local gym, or at a specific hot/cold therapy center. Research has been showing that cold water immersion may have a positive effect on recovery after cardiovascular exercise by reducing inflammation (helpful for menopause) and soreness, and has even been shown to improve nervous system function. However it has also shown negative effects on post strength training sessions in that it blunts the body's ability to build muscle, not a great thing for postmenopausal women. 

Massage your muscles. There is some evidence that massage and self massage tools like the massage stick or massage guns, and foam rollers can help prevent or reduce DOMS. 

Consider hormone therapy, but talk to a specialist not your GP or OBGYN. Their knowledge is NOT in peri/menopause related issues. There’s some evidence (clients testimonials and my own experience) that menopausal hormone therapy can help with symptoms of the musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause, particularly joint pain, and pain caused by inflammation.

Check your thyroid. Finally, you’re more likely to experience DOMS if you have low thyroid levels. Underactive thyroid is somewhat common in midlife women going through menopause, so if pain persists, it’s worth a check up.

*Other Reading:

Anti Inflammatory Diet

Mayo Clinic Water Paper

Feisty Menopause Article on Leucine and Protein

Low Thyroid Causing Joint Pain

Cold Plunge/Therapy

Hormone Therapy Specialists 1: Midi Health

Hormone Therapy Specialists 2: Elizabeth Greenfield Functional Wellness

Items You Can Purchase:

Massage stick

Massage guns

Foam Roller

Diet Culture and Women: How Not To Get Caught up in the Crap

I've been working on a presentation on Women and Diet culture for a few months now, and am nearing the finish. In my final review of the nutrition presentation, I noticed a few key points that kept popping up.

They are: You are more than your physical appearance. Don’t believe anything that comes out of the research unless it specifically says the research was done only with women, or specifically for women. You absolutely do need to eat MORE. I'm just going to leave those there for you to mull over. Moving on...

Interesting Fact: I was just skimming through some research and found once again that women perform best in a fueled state*. In fact, this recent study on endurance trained females found that in just two weeks of under fueling (in this study was about 1700 calories a day - not too far from most diets) had reduced power output in a 20-minute time trial by 7.8% and time to exhaustion by nearly 19%**. These are some pretty disturbing numbers if you ask me. If women ate what was needed, their ability to work harder, longer and more effectively would begin to go up, but I'll get to that later.

So instead of trying to focus on losing weight this year, I challenge you to Pledge to make 2025 the year you form a healthy relationship with food and fueling. Meaning specifically how you fuel your workouts!

The Crap We are Told

Let's talk about social pressure on women to look a certain way, at the expense of their health. Where did that come from? Men. Yep I know I may have hit a nerve, that's good, truly think about it. Modern medicine was created around the male body and it’s specific physiology. What is physiology? The body's systems and how they work. Ya know the chemical stuff, hormones, cardiovascular systems, nervous system, etc. We all know that men and women have different amounts of each of the hormones that control all bodily systems, so why would we then believe that everything that science says works for men should therefore work for women? 

For those of you who were around in the 80’s, oh man there was crap being slung…low fat diets became all the rage and jazzercise and all those cardio classes were huge. Why, to “help” women become skinny. But did you know that skinny isn’t necessarily healthy either.

What is healthy? Healthy isn’t what we look like on the outside, but what the systems on the inside are doing. You hear talk about diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, right. Well those health markers matter way more than what we look like. I know so many women who on the outside look “skinny” but have terrible health markers and they hare on so many medications to try and help. Oh and by the way most of them don’t exercise, and don't eat healthy. I also have a lot of friends who don’t look skinny but have perfectly healthy health markers and do eat well and exercise regularly.

Myth vs Reality

Women are Not Small Men TedTalk, the research has mostly been done on men...until recently. Have you heard of Dr Stacy Sims? She studied women's physiology at Stanford, and now currently leading researcher on women's physiology. When she was at University studying, her professors would constantly say things like,  "We don’t study women", and "Let’s throw their data out" or "Why do you want to study women? We don’t know enough about men.". It wasn't until her pushback that women really started to get true information on how to train especially through their monthly cycle.

Most “influencers” are using outdated information, or information that was ONLY tested on men for their get thin, or get ripped schemes. I’m not saying don’t follow them, but maybe enjoy their enthusiasm, and realize that what they are selling you either only worked on them or one of their clients and they are trying to apply it to everyone else to make a quick buck. Why do you think so many fitness influencers come and go? Now if you look for the ones that aren’t touting some magic pill, or one way to solve all your problems, then you just might find someone who will share some helpful information.

Just remember that no matter what your goals are, they are yours and will need specific interpretation for you to succeed. Seek help, and ask questions. At the end of this I have listed several places you can get help if you are having trouble.

What is Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), and why it’s not accurate

Instead work with Energy Availability (EA). “The basal metabolic rate (BMR) is the amount of energy needed while resting in a temperate environment when the digestive system is inactive.” In such a state, energy will be used only to maintain vital organs, which include the heart, brain, kidneys, nervous system, intestines, liver, lungs, sex organs, muscles, and skin. This means that for most people, upwards of ~70% of total energy (calories) burned each day is due to their general body upkeep. Physical activity makes up ~20% of expenditure and ~10% is used for the digestion of food (thermogenesis)***.

In order for BMR to be measured it needs to be done so under very restrictive circumstances while you are awake. This requires that a person's sympathetic nervous system is inactive, which means the person must be completely rested.

The following set of variables are all reasons why BMR is NOT the best way to determine your caloric needs, especially when you like to move.

Muscle Mass – Aerobic exercises, such as running or cycling, have no effect on BMR. However, anaerobic exercises, such as weight-lifting, indirectly lead to a higher BMR because they build muscle mass, increasing resting energy consumption. The more muscle mass in the physical composition of an individual, the higher the BMR required to sustain their body at a certain level.

Age – The more elderly and limber an individual, the lower their BMR, or the lower the minimum caloric intake required to sustain the functioning of their organs at a certain level.

Genetics – Hereditary traits passed down from ancestors influence BMR.

Weather – Cold environments raise BMR because of the energy required to create a homeostatic body temperature. Likewise, too much external heat can raise BMR as the body expends energy to cool off internal organs. BMR increases approximately 7% for every increase of 1.36 degrees Fahrenheit in the body's internal temperature.

Diet – Small, routinely dispersed meals increase BMR. On the other hand, starvation can reduce BMR by as much as 30%. Similar to a phone that goes into power-saving mode during the last 5% of its battery, a human body will make sacrifices such as energy levels, moods, upkeep of bodily physique, and brain functions in order to more efficiently utilize what little caloric energy is being used to sustain it.

Pregnancy – Ensuring the livelihood of a separate fetus internally increases BMR. This is why pregnant women tend to eat more than usual. Also, menopause can increase or decrease BMR depending on hormonal changes.

Supplements – Certain supplements or drugs raise BMR, mostly to fuel weight loss. Caffeine is a common one.

Energy Availability (EA)
Since BMR isn't good, how do we calculate what we need to eat to be healthy? Have you heard of Energy Availability (EA), Exercise Energy Expenditure (EEE) and Low Energy Availability (LEA)? These factors take into account YOUR current fitness level and the varying amounts of energy you need per day depending upon your exercise program for that day.
The equation…

EA = Dietary Energy Intake (kcal) - Exercise Energy Expenditure (Kcal)
                                              Fat Free Mass (kg)

When we talk about EA, we need to understand its parameters, which are constrained by Low Energy Availability (LEA). Low Energy Availability can creep up after as few as 3 days, and the symptoms are: fatigue, menstrual irregularities, mood changes, frequent illness, injuries, decreased libido, GI issues, poor concentration, decreased bone density, reproductive disfunction. If these are all the issues that occur when we are in LEA, then why are you continuing to eat too little, causing you to have to take meds to assist with mood, libido, bone density? When all you need to do is eat better.

In EA calculations, research shows that for the average sedentary “normal” weight woman, the target is at least 45kcal/kg of FFM per day. I don’t like when they use normal, but that what the scientists have described this as for now.

An example of a 68kg (150lb) woman with 25% body fat (51kg FFM). She would need to eat at minimum 2,295kcal in order to stay out of the LEA category. Anything lower than an intake of 2295 kcal per day (when exercising) puts this person at risk for all the negative side effects of LEA.

Places to Look for Correct Research Based Nutrition & Fitness for Women 

The following list is of the most important people and companies I use to get my information and help direct me to proper studies to read. Leading the way for the new era of information on women is a former teammate of mine, Dr Stacy Sims. She led the charge to have women be recognized as necessary in research and to have our voices head on the field and off when it comes to training and nutrition protocols. Her coauthor of the book ROAR is Selene Yeager, noted columnist since the 80's, who even now talks about the crap she used to spew. Selene is also the host of an amazing podcast in its 5th year, Hit Play Not Pause, and they talk about everything women's sports, health, nutrition, you name it they talk about it. Then there is Midi Health, an online medical system that is covered by most insurance companies, the doctors there are ALL specifically trained in everything female hormone related from puberty, through childbearing years, to perimenopause and post menopause. They know their stuff, and they helped me where my doctors and gynecologist couldn't. 

Most doctors are taught NOTHING about menopause and perimenopause, and only a little bit about women's health when it comes to getting and staying pregnant. Also, your OB/GYN knows NOTHING about peri and post menopause, because like I said earlier they aren’t taught anything because medicine was and still is based around health for men and then just applied to women.

However places like Midi Health, NAMS (North American Menopause Society) now called the Menopause Society are working to break down the barriers to research on women and ALSO bringing up to date information to you through well educated people who really care about women's health.

Last, if you are looking for an app to help you track your cycle, or even if you are post menopause but want daily suggestions of what you should/could be doing, the WildAi app is great. It's owned and run by an amazing group of women who know their stuff. Plus it's not publicly traded so there is no need to fear the period tracking in their app, that information stays with them. 

References

*https://feistymedia.acemlnb.com/lt.php?x=3DZy~GDIVqGdEpF8ywDJgOad23_Wid~ykMY2XnjFVnSf75BAz0y.zuhs1I2njN-~jNYwXnjGIU

**https://feistymedia.acemlnb.com/lt.php?x=3DZy~GDIVqGdEpF8ywDJgOad23_Wid~ykMY2XnjFVnSf75BAz0y.zuhs1I2njN-~jNYwXnjGIk

*** Johnstone AM, Murison SD, Duncan JS, Rance KA, Speakman JR, Factors influencing variation in basal metabolic rate include fat-free mass, fat mass, age, and circulating thyroxine but not sex, circulating leptin, or triiodothyronine1. Am J Clin Nutr 2005; 82: 941-948.”

Additional Places for Amazing Information

Podcast from Hit Play Not pause: January 17, 2024: Weight Loss Drugs and Active Menopausal Women with Jody Dushay

Podcast from Hit Play Not Pause: January 31, 2024: Ditching Diets for Good with Pam Moore

Dr Stacy Sims

Selene Yeager/Hit Play Not Pause/Feisty Media

Coach Jamii North/ Newsletter

WildAi

Midi Health

The Impact of Sleep on Performance for Menopausal Triathletes

Sleep disturbances are prevalent during the stages of perimenopause and even into menopause, and their impact extends beyond nighttime restlessness. Poor sleep quality and insufficient sleep can contribute to multitudes of health conditions in women, including cardiovascular disease, cognitive impairments and mental health issues.

Not getting enough sleep can affect all areas of your life. Lack of sleep can make you feel even more irritable or depressed, might cause you to be more forgetful, and can even lead to falls. Research now suggests that waking from sleep may trigger hot flashes, rather than a hot flash waking you from your sleep.

In addition to the above mentioned issues, the physiological issues that arise from lack of sleep during menopause can be:

• Insufficient sleep can contribute to cardiovascular disease, cognitive impairments, and mental health issues.

• Sleep loss can increase appetite and can lead to weight gain. 

• Sleep loss can affect metabolic health, including energy expenditure, body adiposity, and eating behaviors.

• Sleep loss is prevalent in postmenopausal women and is 2 to 3 times more likely than in younger women.

• Menstrual cycle disruption. Sleep loss affects the hormone leptin, which is produced in lower quantities when women don't get enough sleep and in turn it affects ovulation.

All of those will significantly affect your ability to train, and maintain your fitness in whatever sport you are trying to participate in. Instead of suffering, there are things you can do. The following is a list of easy to control things that may help you sleep better and thus be able to maintain your fitness.

• Create a sleep schedule: Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. 

• Avoid napping: Napping in the late afternoon or evening can make it harder to sleep at night. 

• Avoid heavy meals and caffeine: like coffee, tea, and chocolate, close to bedtime. 

• Avoid alcohol: Even small amounts of alcohol can make it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. 

• Create a bedtime routine: Try reading, listening to music, or taking a warm bath before bed. 

• Keep your bedroom comfortable: Make sure your bedroom is a comfortable temperature and as quiet as possible. You can also try using 100% cotton or bamboo sheets to feel cooler. 

• Avoid screen time: The light from devices like TVs, computers, and phones can make it harder to fall asleep. 

• Exercise regularly: Regular exercise can help improve sleep, but avoid exercising right before bed. For some this causes a rise in metabolic rate for hours 

• Try relaxation techniques: Relaxation techniques can help stimulate the body's parasympathetic nervous system, which helps you slow down and prepare for sleep. 

• Consider hormone replacement therapy: Hormone Therapy (HT) can help with hot flashes and other menopause symptoms, which can lead to more restful sleep. 

For me I’ve changed a few of the above suggestions with much benefit, such as avoiding big meals, caffeine and alcohol close to bedtime. I’ve stopped all screens about an hour before bed, and just recently started hormones, and so far my hot flashes have nearly gone away (I was having a couple dozen a day, plus a couple changes of clothes throughout the day), and I can sleep again!

If you are still having trouble sleeping it may be time to talk to your doctor. If your doctor isn't listening or just saying to take melatonin or get a white noise machine, it’s time for a new doctor. That new doctor can be found through NAMS, North American Menopause Society, or reach out to Midi Health. Both of these places are where you will find doctors who have been trained in everything menopause, and that’s their wheelhouse. They care about treating you and listening to your very individual issues and needs. One thing most people don’t realize is that doctors, including ObGyn's, don't get much, if any, menopause training. So stop seeing someone who isn’t trained in your needs.

There are plenty of communities out there to join and share your stories, and hear others. My favorite is the Feisty Media Menopause group on Instagram and Facebook, which I am a part of. I enjoy reading about others journeys and sharing mine. It's a group of women 40+ who are experiencing the plethora of peri and postmenopausal symptoms. Who knows, you may resonate with one that leads you to getting the health care direction you need. Just know you are not alone, so stop suffering alone. In fact stop suffering. Get the help you deserve.

Further reading here

Sleep and Sleep Disorders in the Menopause Transition: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6092036/

Why your sleep can really suck during menopause: https://www.feistymenopause.com/blog/why-your-sleep-can-really-suck-during-menopause#:~:text=Common%20Causes%20of%20Fragmented%20Sleep%20in%20Menopause&text=Avoid%20eating%20a%20big%20meal,earplugs%20and%20an%20eye%20mask.Hot Flashes: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/menopause/sleep-problems-and-menopause-what-can-i-do#:~:text=Hot%20flashes%2C%20especially%20night%20sweats,sleep%20aids%20such%20as%20melatonin