Making Peace with the Season You’re In

As I sat down to write this blog, it became clear that I’ve really been going through it this past year. That realization pulled me back to my story — the story of a female athlete and coach navigating change, setbacks, and growth.

Recently, my business coach reminded me how powerful it can be to revisit old writing. So I reread past blogs and noticed something interesting: the last time I wrote about my story was also in February. February of last year.

There’s something about late winter that invites reflection. It’s the in-between season. Not the excitement of January. Not the bloom of spring. Just stillness. A space to look at how things went, how we hoped they would go, and how we understand them now.

This year, that reflection hasn’t been easy.

The past year brought multiple injuries — mostly back-related — along with a frozen shoulder that showed up uninvited. From a fitness standpoint, it felt like I wasn’t moving forward at all. In many ways, it felt like I had taken steps backward.

Before my first back injury, I had numbers in my head:
A 200-pound deadlift.
A 185-pound back squat.
A 125-pound clean & jerk.
Another podium finish at Duathlon Nationals.

I could see it. I could feel it.

And then… none of it happened.

Not one goal.

Was I mad? Absolutely.
Did I feel betrayed by my body? Yes.
Am I still working on letting that go? Every day.

What no one prepares you for is the quiet grief when your body doesn’t respond the way it used to. The grief of slower recovery. Of heavier weights. Of realizing you can’t outwork everything anymore.

And for women, this isn’t just aging — it’s physiology.

Perimenopause can feel like your body rewrote the rulebook without telling you. Hormones shift. Recovery changes. Sleep changes. Stress tolerance changes. And instead of acknowledging that, most of us just push harder. We assume we’re not disciplined enough.

I did.

I trained through pain. I compared myself to a version of me that no longer exists. I felt like I was falling behind — behind my goals, behind my expectations, behind who I thought I should be by now.

But here’s the part that makes this story bigger than injury.

When I couldn’t train the way I wanted to, I poured myself into my business and my relationships. I built. I connected. I grew. In many ways, I reached a level professionally that I’ve been chasing for nearly ten years.

So no — I wasn’t moving backward.

I was just growing in a different direction.

This winter forced me to slow down. And in that stillness, I had to face something uncomfortable: I wasn’t actually doing what I needed to recover. I was operating from pride. From ego. From “I’ve been doing this long enough to figure it out.”

I assumed I knew what was wrong instead of asking, “What’s happening in this season of my body?”

So I finally did. I got evaluated for what’s real right now — not what was true twenty years ago.

Letting go of my old expectations — and the expectations I thought others had of me — felt like peeling off layers of pressure I didn’t even realize I was carrying.

I’m not magically healed. I’m still working through back issues. But now I’m addressing what’s actually in front of me instead of fighting ghosts.

And maybe that’s the lesson.

To the women navigating perimenopause, slower recovery, frustration, or unexpected setbacks: you are not broken. You are not done. You are in transition.

Sometimes the way forward isn’t more discipline.

Sometimes it’s support.
Sometimes it’s reflection.
Sometimes it’s admitting you don’t have it all figured out.

Sometimes strength is allowing yourself to begin again — from exactly where you are.

If you’re in a season where your body feels unfamiliar, where recovery looks different, or where you’re questioning what’s next — you don’t have to navigate it alone. This is the work I care deeply about.

Maybe that’s why February keeps calling me back to my story. It’s the quiet season that asks for honesty. Two years in a row, this month has asked me to pause, to look clearly at where I am, and to release who I thought I was supposed to be.

Maybe February isn’t about evaluating progress at all.

Maybe it’s about making peace with the season you’re in — and trusting that growth is still happening, even when it looks different than you planned.

Women Need to Build Muscle

Recently I was having a conversation with a fellow fitness expert and the topic of getting women to build muscle came up. The biggest fear many women have of working out is building too much muscle, they fear they will "look like a man". Well fear not ladies! The chance of you looking like Mrs Olympia from working out 2 hours a week lifting weights is so slim I'd bet on it, well unless you are shooting up with steroids.

Now, I happen to think that women with a healthy amount of muscles look virile and vibrant,  and well very attractive.  However, if the fear of gaining too much muscle is stopping you from using heavy weights well please don't let this stop you.

Most women are not going to build more muscle than they want from lifting weights. They will build some muscle and be stronger than they were before, but it is very difficult for women to build huge, bulky, muscles. In fact, most men find this difficult as well. The bodybuilding supplement industry makes millions of dollars each year because building a lot of muscle is so difficult.

Although it is possible for women to build big muscles, it is very difficult and you would need to work out with VERY HEAVY WEIGHTS on a regular basis (5 days a week for 2-3 hours a day). I add this because I certainly don't want to perpetuate the myth that it absolutely isn't possible for women to build large amounts of muscle. The reason that most bodybuilding information for women states that it isn't possible is so that women who are afraid of building too much muscle by working out with weights will finally pick some up and work out. It is possible to build big muscles if you are a woman, however, in order to attain them it would have to be your goal to do so. It won't just happen by accident, you would purposely have to work hard to build them.

There are also health benefits to being stronger and having more muscle (these are just a few):

1. Increased metabolic rate - This is the rate at which your body burns calories at rest. The more muscle mass you have the higher your body's metabolic burn rate is while you are sitting, and sleeping.

2. Decreased risk of osteoporosis - This is because your bones need to be strong enough to support the increased amount of muscle. Bone tissue is dynamic and your bones will respond to the increased demand placed on them by becoming stronger.

3. Being physically weak isn't safe (for anyone) - The stronger you are the more likely that you will be able to defend yourself if you ever need to. Plus you will find certain tasks easier, such as carrying in the groceries, moving furniture, or whatever heavy lifting you may encounter in your everyday life.

4. Improved Balance, blood sugar control, sleep and mental health


If you don't believe me, then try gradually increasing the amount of weight you use when you work out and you will see big improvements in your muscle tone, overall appearance and even feeling energized longer, but you will not see the development of huge bulky muscles.

As always if you have questions or concerns about this topic please feel free to post a comment or contact me directly at VeloFit@gmail.com

Thanks for reading.