Making Peace with the Season You’re In

As I sat down to write this blog, it became clear that I’ve really been going through it this past year. That realization pulled me back to my story — the story of a female athlete and coach navigating change, setbacks, and growth.

Recently, my business coach reminded me how powerful it can be to revisit old writing. So I reread past blogs and noticed something interesting: the last time I wrote about my story was also in February. February of last year.

There’s something about late winter that invites reflection. It’s the in-between season. Not the excitement of January. Not the bloom of spring. Just stillness. A space to look at how things went, how we hoped they would go, and how we understand them now.

This year, that reflection hasn’t been easy.

The past year brought multiple injuries — mostly back-related — along with a frozen shoulder that showed up uninvited. From a fitness standpoint, it felt like I wasn’t moving forward at all. In many ways, it felt like I had taken steps backward.

Before my first back injury, I had numbers in my head:
A 200-pound deadlift.
A 185-pound back squat.
A 125-pound clean & jerk.
Another podium finish at Duathlon Nationals.

I could see it. I could feel it.

And then… none of it happened.

Not one goal.

Was I mad? Absolutely.
Did I feel betrayed by my body? Yes.
Am I still working on letting that go? Every day.

What no one prepares you for is the quiet grief when your body doesn’t respond the way it used to. The grief of slower recovery. Of heavier weights. Of realizing you can’t outwork everything anymore.

And for women, this isn’t just aging — it’s physiology.

Perimenopause can feel like your body rewrote the rulebook without telling you. Hormones shift. Recovery changes. Sleep changes. Stress tolerance changes. And instead of acknowledging that, most of us just push harder. We assume we’re not disciplined enough.

I did.

I trained through pain. I compared myself to a version of me that no longer exists. I felt like I was falling behind — behind my goals, behind my expectations, behind who I thought I should be by now.

But here’s the part that makes this story bigger than injury.

When I couldn’t train the way I wanted to, I poured myself into my business and my relationships. I built. I connected. I grew. In many ways, I reached a level professionally that I’ve been chasing for nearly ten years.

So no — I wasn’t moving backward.

I was just growing in a different direction.

This winter forced me to slow down. And in that stillness, I had to face something uncomfortable: I wasn’t actually doing what I needed to recover. I was operating from pride. From ego. From “I’ve been doing this long enough to figure it out.”

I assumed I knew what was wrong instead of asking, “What’s happening in this season of my body?”

So I finally did. I got evaluated for what’s real right now — not what was true twenty years ago.

Letting go of my old expectations — and the expectations I thought others had of me — felt like peeling off layers of pressure I didn’t even realize I was carrying.

I’m not magically healed. I’m still working through back issues. But now I’m addressing what’s actually in front of me instead of fighting ghosts.

And maybe that’s the lesson.

To the women navigating perimenopause, slower recovery, frustration, or unexpected setbacks: you are not broken. You are not done. You are in transition.

Sometimes the way forward isn’t more discipline.

Sometimes it’s support.
Sometimes it’s reflection.
Sometimes it’s admitting you don’t have it all figured out.

Sometimes strength is allowing yourself to begin again — from exactly where you are.

If you’re in a season where your body feels unfamiliar, where recovery looks different, or where you’re questioning what’s next — you don’t have to navigate it alone. This is the work I care deeply about.

Maybe that’s why February keeps calling me back to my story. It’s the quiet season that asks for honesty. Two years in a row, this month has asked me to pause, to look clearly at where I am, and to release who I thought I was supposed to be.

Maybe February isn’t about evaluating progress at all.

Maybe it’s about making peace with the season you’re in — and trusting that growth is still happening, even when it looks different than you planned.

My Story: The Beginning of Perimenopause and How I Dealt With It

If you're like me, maybe you’ve been going through the issues that arise during perimenopause, but didn't recognize that's what was happening. You might not have known the reason you aren't sleeping well at night, having difficulty feeling comfortable in mild to moderate temperature changes, have GI bloating, or a slew of other things that may actually be associated with perimenopause. Or, perhaps you’ve noticed your body's ability to train the way you did last year is just not the same. Yep, another issue related to perimenopause.

Recognizing the Signs of Perimenopause

I didn't recognize the signs, even though I work with women and tell them about this stuff all the time. Can you believe that? Why did this happen? Why did I not know when it was happening to me that it was perimenopause and not just stress related, or as many people say, it's just in your head. Yep, women are given that response so often it's infuriating.

I didn't realize the issues because I was so focused on other things, as so many women are. I didn't have time to really feel into my own needs. And when I did, all I had time for was catching up on sleep, or trying to. Another perimenopause related symptom is difficulty getting to sleep and or staying asleep, I had the latter.

The Dismissal of Women's Symptoms in Healthcare

All this started for me near the end of 2022. It started with irregular periods. Irregular in both amount of time they would last, to amount of blood loss, to the increasing pain getting so bad I was getting migraines, vertigo, and nausea from them. I just figured it was because I wasn't sleeping well. So I ignored it. I did mention to my doctor my lack of sleep issues, and I was just told to take some melatonin. I was NEVER asked about any other symptoms, nor did menopause come into the conversation.

A year later, summer of 2023, I was noticing my body getting smaller. And not in a good way. I've always been lean but muscular. My muscles were getting smaller with the same amount of lifting and training. To top it off, I was having debilitating hot flashes, to the tune of a dozen or more a day, and they were so bad that I would pack extra clothes with me to work to change when I needed. What the hell! This was when I knew something was wrong. Again I went to my doctor, and again I was never asked further questions, nor was I told it might be perimenopause. Keep in mind I was 45 at the time, so well within the range for it to start. Instead this time I was told to take black cohosh (supposedly for the hot flashes) and keep taking melatonin. I never did take melatonin, just too many possible side effects.

Searching for Answers: My Journey to Understanding

At this point it has been over a year of suffering. I had enough of no one caring, and no one with knowledge to help me. At that point I met with a friend of a client. Unbeknownst to me this person just happened to be involved with Midi health. After meeting with her, I filled out one of their intake forms and made an appointment. This was the beginning of some major positive changes and much relief.

At first I was resistant to taking hormones. Not because of any fear of cancer, but instead I feared how much it would cost to go on this, and what if the US took away my ability to access the hormones. I didn't want to have to go backwards. So my goal was to see if doing more conservative things would help me. During the next 10 months, we tried several different protocols to deal with the hot flashes, inability to sleep, brain fog/memory issues, anxiety and muscle loss. It just wasn't working. I also passed the point of no period for 12 straight months and was now considered to be post menopause.

What Are My Options?

I'd had enough and chatted with a new amazing health care professional who understood me and my issues. We did a full blood panel. I'm telling you they took 12 vials of blood. I learned that in addition to my hot flashes, muscle loss, and memory issues, I also had high cholesterol (high on the bad stuff and low on the good stuff), low iron, no estrogen or testosterone, and had huge platelets that were causing my lightheadedness and a couple other things. At this point it was time to make a decision on hormones to help even all those issues out, or take nasty medications that have so many other side effects it makes your head spin.

Hormones, Nutrition, and Strength Training: A New Approach

I've now been on a low dose of estrogen and progesterone for 6 months in addition to daily creatine, BCAA's, no processed food (super hard to do), more protein, Omega3 and Iodine, and have had a complete end to the hot flashes. Yay, no more multi outfit days, unless I'm riding, running and lifting. I've also stopped losing muscle mass, but not yet put any on. My brain fog is nearly gone, and I'm sleeping again.

We will do another blood test in 3 more months to check in on the cholesterol and other issues, but for now I'm feeling back to normal. Or my new normal. I'm still training hard, and in fact am lifting more than I have been in the past, 180 pound deadlifts and 160 pound squats. I'm also putting out more power on my bike and in my runs because of my extra time in the gym.

Advocating for Yourself: Finding the Right Support

If you're like me and are having trouble with not feeling yourself, don't let a doctor tell you you're fine and just take melatonin or whatever they try to pass off on you. Look for someone else, someone with the training and knowledge in peri and post menopause. You wouldn't go get a coach that only coaches soccer to train you as an endurance sport athlete, so why get a doctor who isn't trained in your needs to care for you?